Top 6 tips for getting more sleep with a newborn.

80% of new mothers report feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

First, let’s talk about healthy expectations around sleep and tiny babies. Newborn babies feed on average every 2-3 hours all day and night. That means by the time you feed, wind, change the nappy and put baby back down you have about 1-2 hours to get more sleep before this routine happens all over again. And right now, your top priority for your healing and mental health is getting adequate sleep.

Uh-oh! Do not worry! It is only temporarily like this, and as baby’s tummy grows, they can sleep longer. In the first few week’s your sleep will be majorly disrupted- but if you plan now there are ways you can adapt and make the most out of the situation.

First up here are my top tips for getting optimal sleep in the first 6 weeks:

1.       Give yourself permission to rest

·         Aim for 7-8 hours over 24-hour period

You are allowed to rest and prioritise your sleep as much as possible! You are not being selfish or lazy, you are being responsible. It is impossible to expect you to recover from birth, establish feeding and bond and care for your child on little to no sleep. When you are sick, or you have had an operation the doctor mandates rest as its one of the most important factors for recovery. Your body is healing from the effects of childbirth and pregnancy and the huge toll they take on your body. If you allow yourself to prioritise sleep in the first six weeks, you’ll be setting yourself up in good stead for the start of your journey into motherhood.

2.       Get Help

·         Sleep when baby sleeps

·         Hire a Postpartum Doula

As trite as it sounds you really do need to try and sleep when baby sleeps. Most people laugh at this and say, ‘well are you going to do the laundry when baby does the laundry.’ No because you should not be doing the laundry at all. Hopefully, you have a great support network around you who can pitch in and organize the running of the household for you. If you do- great but plan it and be honest, tell people what you need them to do. Often though these days people do not have the village of support around them. Husbands must return to work, parents are overseas, and in-laws are…well, complicated. But that is okay, that is why you should hire the non-judgmental practical support of a Postpartum Doula.

3.       Limit Visitors

·         Give them a time

·         Restrict visitors to either only afternoons or mornings

·         Put a note on the door

Visitors can be more painful than hemorrhoids. Some are great - sweeping in for 10-15 minutes or dropping off a meal for you, but others end up staying for hours and you feel you need to entertain them. Avoid the latter at all costs during the first six weeks. If you can’t put them off, I would suggest giving them a time of when to come and even when to leave. If you plan to go to bed early then restrict visitors to the morning hours only or vice versa if you plan to sleep in. Don’t be afraid to put a note on the door to set the tone or deter visitors all together. They can hold baby another time, your sleep is more important right now.

4.       Setting a plan with your partner

·         Set up shifts so you can get longer stretches of sleep

It is a really good idea to have this conversation before baby gets here. If your partner has to go back to work, then set-up a routine that accommodates for their work hours too. For example, you can do the last feed at 6pm then head straight to bed and your partner can either offer expressed milk/ bottle feed or wake you up for a breastfeed but then handle the nappy and settling so you can get a decent amount of sleep in before midnight. There are plenty of articles out there about establishing a good bath, bottle and bed routine. If this is your thing you might want to read, The First 6 Weeks by Midwife Cath. Getting support so you can have a decent chunk of sleep will make a huge difference.

5.       Good sleep hygiene

·         Good habits so you get to sleep as quickly as possible

Setting up sleep rituals and having good sleep hygiene can also make a huge difference. Just like babies can develop sleep cues so can you! If you start some good rituals around bedtime like taking a bath, having a cup of tea in bed and reading for a bit, then your body will get used to this cue and wind down quicker and easier. It is also a good idea to invest in a dim night light for your bedroom and sticking your phone on charge in the kitchen, so you’re not tempted to scroll!

6.       Co-sleeping

·         Follow the safe co-sleeping guidelines

·         80% of parents co-sleep with babies in the first six months

Australian studies have shown that up to 80% of babies spent at least some of their sleep time sharing the parents bed in the first six months. The Red Nose Organisation acknowledges on their website that every family is unique, and every baby is unique – so you need to make the decision that is right for you and your family. That is why they have created plenty of resources about safe co-sleeping with your baby. It is important to read up about safe co-sleeping as there are circumstances where co-sleeping with your baby can be dangerous. If you are interested in co-sleeping and would like to more about the benefits (because there are lots!) then I recommend reading Safe Infant Sleep by James McKenna.

Sleep is one of the things that a lot of people like to give unsolicited advice on, or tell you about their child who slept through the night from 7 days old. I call bullshit on a lot of those stories! First up- let go of your expectations and any concerns about bad habits. Yes, it is great to instill some good sleep hygiene right from the start, but at the end of the day- it’s only a bad habit if it doesn’t suit your lifestyle and if it stops suiting you then you do something else. Try to go with your natural instincts and remember that every baby and mother is different.

Some of this stuff may seem small but it can make a huge difference. There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a tactic by the army- it literally breaks people! If you are struggling with sleep deprivation and need more help reach out to Mothers Care Services.